Dear Tesco (an open letter),

My daughters Jenny and Eve are both toilet trained. Good news for us. Not so good for nappy companies. They do wear nappy pants at night time although I can’t remember the last time they wet them.

Recently, though, night time nappy pants have been a source of heartbreak and arguments, although I doubt you’ll be able to guess why.

The nappy pants we currently use are your Tesco Loves Baby easy fit pants. The pack has two different monkey patterns on them. Here’s a pic:


The problem is that both of the girls want to wear the Big Monkey Face nappy pants. They can’t put into words why, but the Little Monkey Face nappies just don’t do it for them. Our problem is that the pack contains equal numbers of Big and Little Monkey Face designs on the nappy pants.

This means that every night, one of the girls has to wear the less popular Little Monkey Face nappy pants. We have had to suffer many a bed-time of either Jenny or Eve sobbing and yelling that they want “a Big Monkey Face”. At times, I’ve had to respond by drawing a Big Monkey Face on their nappy pants with a Sharpie pen and I’m not very good at drawing Big Monkey Faces.

Please, Tesco, help us out. I know you care about parents and I know that you want kids to be happy. Can you please, please provide us with an option to buy a pack of nothing but Big Monkey Face nappy pants?

Who knows. Maybe there’s a household where the kids have fights every night for the Little Monkey Face nappy pants. Maybe you could offer a service where such similarly affected parents can partake in a Monkey Face nappy pant exchange scheme (unused only). These are important questions and I think they deserve to be answered.

I love my daughters and want them to be happy. Tesco – help me make that happen.

Yours in anticipation

Daddy Monkey Face