Kids and wobbly teeth. It’s a heck of a combination.

If adults suffered from wobbly teeth as a routine part of getting older instead of kids, we’d discretely wobble that loose tooth with our tongues. Kids don’t have that discretion. Kids are right in there with their hands. Not only do they freely wobble, but they share their open, drooling mouths with everyone in the vicinity.

And why shouldn’t they? Part of their body is falling out! Ordinarily, this proposition would terrify a child, but because it’s associated with getting older, they love it.

To top it all off, it turns out that there’s a supernatural being who financially and nocturnally recompenses children for these teeth. A fairy, no less. What these magical beings do with all these baby teeth has never been fully explained. Kids just take the money and don’t question the details. What are we teaching our kids?!

Wobbly tooth

My seven year old only just lost her first tooth. She lost it at school, and came home with it wrapped in toilet paper. We were enthusiastically advised that a girl at school said that the tooth fairy pays ten pounds for a first tooth. I’ve told my daughter not to speak to that girl anymore.

Eve’s anxiety issues meant that she didn’t want to give her teeth away when they fell out, but when she saw Jenny putting her teeth under the pillow, she changed her mind. In the morning, she got a bit upset because she thought the tooth fairy had only left her 2p. Then she woke up properly and realised it was a £2 coin.

Which comprehensively proves that the girl at my daughter’s school who said the tooth fairy gives £10 wasn’t quite telling the truth.